No such thing as vow of separation
“Ang pag-aasawa’y hindi parang kanin na kapag napaso ay iluluwa.”
This has been the golden reminder of our elders whenever someone is about to settle. Marriage has never been an easy thing to enter. It requires tons of courage before concluding your final decision. Whatever decision you will make, you need to deal with it for the rest of your life. There’s no turning back, it’s not a television that you can switch channels anytime you want.
In a world full of inconsistencies, I still believe that marriage is sacred. We cannot jump into conclusion of marrying someone without knowing him/her first. Can you just imagine walking the aisle and facing the altar then realize that you are with the wrong person? Such a nightmare.
Philippines is one of the country that values marriage. Our rich culture is one of the reasons why we prefer to know the person first before proceeding to the grand ceremony. We have to undergo first several stages including ‘pamamanhikan’ wherein the families of the couple will be able to know each other first. It simply shows that we are just making sure not only the person that we love but also the family he/she came from.
Meanwhile, it will never be a big shock to the Filipino people that aside from Vatican City, Philippines is also and next sole country in the world wherein divorce is still illegal though our Muslim brothers and sisters are practicing it. It is somehow ironic that we are a democratic country yet divorce is prohibited.
Honestly, I don’t know if how the other countries talks about it and how they see us as a country without divorce. They might wonder why and laugh on us but I think we have the reasons why we do not allow having such law. It is not really bad that we are looking forward more to the possibility of fixing the gap between couple than to tolerate them on separating and part ways legally through papers. We highly believe that a couple united by God should not be separated by the people.
On the other hand, divorce has been one of the hot issues in the country. Proponents of the law exist long time ago and they also have good and valid points on pushing it. Lately, Albay 1st District Representative Edcel Lagman revived the bill to legalized divorce at the House of Representatives. Lagman is also known as the principal author of Reproductive Health Law which became the talk of the town for a bunch of years.
On article, Lagman said that sometimes, it can even be morally necessary, when it’s about shielding the weaker spouse or young children from the more serious wounds caused by intimidation and violence, humiliation, and exploitation. He also added that while most marriages are supposed to be solemnized in heaven, the reality is many marriages plummet into hell in irremediable breakdown, spousal abuse, marital infidelity and psychological incapacity, among others, which bedevil marriages.
Lagman also provided the HB 116 four additional grounds for absolute divorce: These include either of the spouses secures a valid foreign divorce, canonical divorce, gender reassignment surgery, and when irreconcilable differences or conflicts between the married couple are beyond redemption despite earnest and repeated efforts at reconciliation. If we are going to strongly analyze it, Lagman is presenting the bill very well and with valid grounds. He also said that the bill is pro-woman. I highly appreciate the thought that the fight for divorce is also a fight to avoid abuse. Yes, it is really a hard to make a decision having good points from different sectors.
On a larger picture, I will still prefer to see complete families walking in public places having quality time. It is hard for the parents to raise their child alone, single parenting has never been a good idea that we should tolerate, so if possible, a couple should consider their children before coming up on separation. On a child’s perspective, growing up not having both parents will never a good thing. Well, it is still a matter of acceptance but it is unavoidable that one must wish to have a complete family. Not all children will be able to accept their situation, to be broken is the worst thing that could ever happen to the primary sector of society. Just a friendly reminder, there’s no such thing as a vow of separation.
I understand the desires of Representative Lagman and other proponents of the Divorce Law. Yet, I don’t feel like we are aliens because of not having such. If standing for a stronger family ties is bad, I would rather be bad this time. Instead of tolerating them to dump each other, why not help them to solve their issues? Of course, there will always be a debate about this. Maybe between the state and the church, well, we are used to it.
But let me end this to all of you with this, if we cannot fight for the couple’s relationship just try looking to their children’s eye and you will definitely know what am I fighting for.
